Phat Unicorn!

Looking for lighter Unicorn fare? Check out Phat Unicorn!, our sister-blog focusing on travel blogging, mindful eating and living joyously, hosted by yours truly, your favorite sparkly Unicorn!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Project 365 (1) - A Day in the Gay Life Of...

Good morning, Darlings. I hope this finds you all fabulously well (or at least fabulous, which is a start). Your humble Unicorn is feeling lovely today. I woke up at 6:30 (a.m.), finished reading a book I've been slogging through (started well, but petered out - and, no, it wasn't Stephen King), and then went for a 2-mile walk. Outside. In the cold. And snow! Uphill! Both ways!!

Ok, I may be exaggerating a touch. Probably am, in fact. (Read that: definitely.) But it was frosty. My breath was steamy, and I had to bundle up in a fleecy hoody under my awesome fleece coat with autumn leaves all over it, pink scarf of awesome (made by my awesome friend Malaika), and mis-matched gloves. It's funny... I've been tripping over pairs of  gloves and mittens all year long, every time I go into the mud room, but today - no pairs at all, just one tiny black knit glove and one purple fancy glove with a ruffly wrist cuff. Well, there was one pair of faux fur white and black mittens, but they're much too fancy for exercising in, so I put on the orphan gloves, put up my hood, tied the pink scarf of awesome over all of it, and off I went.

The walk was good. The sky was blue, and the sun was getting high enough that most of the walk was in sunshine (and hence not Arctic). There was just a little of last night's snow (first snow of the year!) on the grass and benches uptown, and the puddles on the sidewalk had frozen into aesthetically pleasing frost-patterns, like you usually see on the windows when it's been really cold at night. I snapped a couple of pictures, and this is the one I chose for day 1 of my 365 day project. (And by 'this is the one', I mean 'you have to scroll through all of this to see it.' Because I can.)

(If you don't know what that is, this probably won't help, because rather than following anyone's "rules", I'm doing my own thing. I am sure this surprises no one.) For my version of a Project 365, I'm going to attempt to post one picture per day for 365 days. These pictures may or may not be accompanied by anything, up to and including a blog entry, a few stray thoughts, a caption, or not a damn thing, depending on my mood.

Today it's this: While I was walking this morning, congratulating myself on shoving myself out of my toasty warm house onto the hostile (not really) tundra (not at all), a question ran through my head. "How gay is too gay? Can you be too gay?" 

I mean, I suppose if you're so very, very gay that it somehow interferes with the rest of your life, then yes, you can be too gay. Then again, if you're that gay, probably most of your life revolves around that, and you probably (hopefully!) have a ton of gay friends, and do things together where no matter how much fabulousity abounds, no one cares anyway, so I guess that rendors my previous thought moot. 


What brought it up was my realization that, after my finally-successful coming out (after numerous aborted attempts, chronicled here), I moved straight (ba-dum-bum-bum!) to full-fledged, full-on, in-your-face, all-gay-all-the-time, rainbow-chasing advocacy. This has been  both good and bad. 

Good in that I've met a ton of great people, LGBTQ folks and allies, and formed a great network of resources for great LGBTQ causes. I've been able to become a tiny part of this really exciting time in our history, and hopefully some of the things I've rambled on about here have resonated with some of you out there, and shown you that no one is really alone (although sometimes we may feel that way), and that if you can just hang in there, despite how bleak things might look, things actually do 'get better'.  

Also a little bit bad, because I'm painfully aware that I've become 'all gay, all the time', to the point that it's sometimes difficult for me to divorce myself from gayness even if it's not in the slightest bit relevant to a situation or discussion. Believe it or not, sometimes it's not about being gay (or bi or pan or trans or even straight, or whatever flavor you may be). Sometimes it's just lunch.

I’m sure that a lot of people I know (either IRL or online only) cringe when they see my name come up on their Facebook feed, because they know they’re about to be beaten viciously about the head and shoulders with GAY IS AWESOME, and anyone who doesn’t love gay people is WRONG, and other similar sentiments. (That or healthy eating, because the Phat Unicorn does like to wax beyond eloquence far into the reaches of ‘shrill annoying harpy’ about the new joys of eating for health, as well.) For the record, I do vehemently believe those things, but I realize that I often sound like a broken record. (Kids, a ‘record’ used to be a flat vinyl disc that played sounds, much like a CD except both not as good and much, much cooler, which would often ‘skip’ or repeat itself if the needle got stuck. Needles?!? WTH, Unicorn? Shut up, kids, and ask your mom. Or grandma. ::sigh::)

It’s not like I don’t have any thoughts that don’t have to do with what’s in anyone’s pants, or who I (or they) prefer to use (or not use) those things with. I do. I post lolcats, like every red-blooded American that was once ostracized at school. I post recipes, and talk about TV shows we’re wading through (Walking Dead, at the moment), and Bitstrips cartoons, and pictures… (The picture is coming, I promise! Didn’t I start this whole thing today just to post the damn picture??) But the majority of stuff is, well, pretty gay. And I’m actually OK with that, but I do wonder if it’s beginning to overshadow most everything else in my life.

LGBTQ advocacy is important. Critically, life-savingly, civil- and human-rightsily important, especially with the dreadful things still happening to LGBTQ folks around the world (I’m not going into that here) and the awesome things going on, too (marriage equality! ENDA!). But as much as I hate labels (and I do), I have a difficult time not defining myself by ‘gay’. (And what if I date someone that is transgender? Would I not be gay anymore?!? WTF, Universe?!?) But that’s neither here nor there.

And I still want to have gay lunch.

Ok, here’s the first picture for my Project 365. Enjoy.

** UPDATE 5/16/2014 - In the interest of streamlining things (and keeping more on topic), I've deleted most of my Project 365 photos. I left my favorites up, so if you happen to come upon what seems to be a random photo post, that's probably why. ~ The Unicorn
It's a leaf and some ice on the sidewalk. As the project continues, I'll get better at this. Probably. 

Thanks (as always) for reading, darlings, and please keep being fabulous!


  1. We all tend to (unicorn) babble on and on (babylon?) about our favourite things, pet projects, life experiences, or causes. If people look at my Facebook timeline, they'll see a ton of crap about my progress after surgery and the changes it has wrought and...well...way too much stuff about Doctor Who's 50th Anniversary. Yeah, there's some bad puns, LOLCats, and other humorous things thrown in there to cleanse the palate...but I'm no different from you. And neither is anyone else on Facebook or anywhere else online. Diversity comes from having friends with different views, not from one friend who throws a dart to determine what to talk about that day.

    The point to all of this? Talk about what YOU want to talk about, what's important to you, and give the people who read you a different perspective from their own. That's how people learn; that's how attitudes change. Keep doing what you're doing, and **** anyone who gets annoyed by it. ;-)

    1. Thank you, Darling Brother (and if I misread and mis-guessed you, please accept sparkly apologies!). I appreciate your comment, and your insight. And thanks for putting up with the sparkle! ;)

  2. I love it! A Gay Lunch. Love the picture - it's a nice contrast of fall and winter. :) Though I'm bi and hanging out of the closet more all the I have to say being open and around an open group of people is pretty awesome. I agree the Brother.. :)
    And I adore whom you are here and in real life. :) Thanks for being you. I appreciate your humility and eagerness to share your positivity!
    And how could anything Malaika makes not be just AWESOME. :) We are all awesome in our own splendor, no matter our sexual preferences.

    1. Thank you, Darling! :) I appreciate YOU, as well! Keep being a fabulous inspiration!


Join in the babble - Unicorns love comments!

Please be kind to each other - I welcome discussion and conversation, but if you're deliberately nasty to someone, that makes kittens cry. Let's keep it fabulous!

~ The Unicorn